A recent Facebook post was from an artist who did a show, and obviously put a lot of work into it, and expressed deep disappointment at the sparse turnout.

I avoided a smart-aleck comment, as most of of us probably try to do on Facebook, something like “Welcome to the party!” or “Get In Line!” I’m guessing most theatres in St. Louis would all like a few more people in the seats.

And the reason for that?

I’ve been saying it for a couple years - There’s too much theatre in town! (The ’25 Fringe Festival offered 50 different shows. 50.) Some people see that as healthy. If one points out all the new shows, from people who’ve done nothing before, folks with woke hangovers say these people want to express themselves. But this isn’t the third grade. Where coloring in the lines gets you all the credit you could want. Too many plays. Too much content. As Laurie Anderson said, “There are a hundred times more artists now. Everybody is screaming for attention.”

And I guess you could say that’s a healthy scenario, but it’s occurring in a very unhealthy climate. St. Louis theatre press consists of St. Louis theatre critics. None of their reviews appear in anything resembling mainstream or even minorstream media. And what they produce, for anyone who sees it, are reviews of specific shows, or PR/preview/interviews for upcoming shows. None of them stepping outside of either of those roles to become a commentator, someone telling audiences what’s good and what’s what, and telling theatre companies and artists the same thing.

This leads to companies having, as Laurie said, to scream, making it very loud out there. The competition for share of mind is fierce, and everyone - companies and artists - are caught up in it. It also makes it hard for someone like me to figure out what my place is in this theatre scene.

If you now Midnight Company at all, you know we’ve produced lots of theatre, for over 25 years, and a whole lot of theatre in the last three years. I admit it’s led to some burnout, but apart from that, I’ve arrived at a juncture where i don’t know what the hell to even think about doing next - what audiences might want to see (you see, some audiences will go see anything, so what’s worth taking an audiences time - and exactly what should one spend their time on when the press practices little discriminaton and the theatre community is really too vast for anything to be seen.

It’s made it comfortable for this theatre artist to feel happy being apart from the theatre scene in general. And contemplating if anything can come next. Practically, it’s impossible to call it quits right now - Midnight’s Linda Ronstadt shows continue selling out, and despite my battling them back, ideas keep nagging me to consider for a show in the summer. So I’m not done year. (I knew, receiving that Lifetime Achievement Award from the critics last year would be a dicey thing.) But in trying to keep one’s artistic head above water, certain signs, certain quotes arise, that give one hope.

Here’s one that just surfaced for me - and gave me the hope I can sure use right now.

Agnes De Mille talking about Martha Graham: ”The greatest thing [Graham] ever said to me was in 1943 after the opening of “Oklahoma!”, when I suddenly had unexpected, flamboyant success for a work I thought was only fairly good, after years of neglect for work I thought was fine. I was bewildered and worried that my entire scale of values was untrustworthy. I talked to Martha. I remember the conversation well. It was in a Schrafft's restaurant over a soda. I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be.

Martha said to me, very quietly: "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others”